


Someone like me...

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 07:46:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17421812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Virgil thought he was the only one like him. The only person he knew who struggled with the great unease that was anxiety. Everyday, he struggled with the nerves and frets that come with social anxiety. Until he found out the most popular boy in school( and his mortal enemy) Roman Regiis had more in common than they thought...





	1. The most anxious teenager you’ll ever meet

**Author's Note:**

> This is my kinda first fix so don’t judge if it’s bad. I uploaded one a while ago but I didn’t think it was any good so I deleted it. Hopefully, now, this one’ll be better and I hope you like it. You probably shouldn’t like it as it’s probably crap but, yeah, sorry if you hate it.

“Mr Sanders, I had the feeling I’d be seeing you again soon.”  
“And I you,” his dad said.  
Virgil sat in his seat uncomfortably, waiting for it all to be over. He been getting into trouble at school recently and had had to have his dad called in to talk to the principal about it. You see, the thing is, Virgil doesn’t like people. Never has, never will. That’s just how he works. So, this didn’t come in useful when he refused to participate in lessons. Virgil would usually go about class like this: come in silently avoiding any and all human interaction, answer registration and then proceed to be silent until the lesson was over. That was how every class went and he didn’t mind. It was the teachers who had a problem with it.  
“Mr Sanders, you must understand that Virgil needs to start participating more. The other students are all extremely good at answering questions and will work in groups exceptionally well but Virgil does not. He prefers to indulge in silent work but that is not a healthy way of living. I’ve had other teachers report to me that he spends his time alone. You need to find him some friends or at least a therapist to help him deal with his problems,” the principal started. Virgil was outside the office but, despite the wall in between them, he could still hear the entire conversation. Truth to be told, Virgil had anxiety. It was so bad that he wouldn’t even be able to ask a teacher for help in lessons as he wasn’t sure how to form sentences when faced with other humans. Students had resorted to calling him “anxiety” too. They all knew his real name but they thought it’d be funnier to tease him about his mental state, rather than help him with it. 

The only people who’d never made fun of him for who he was were his best friends, Logan and Patton. Logan was the smartest person you’ll ever meet. He started getting A+’s in grade school and could tell you the answer to any question you ask him with 100% guaranteed accuracy. He too was bullied. Patton was the happiest, kindest and silliest person you’ll ever meet. Virgil was sure his brain only consisted of dad jokes and pictures of dogs. He too was bullied. The three of them were an odd assortment but stuck to one another like glue. They often spent their lunch times in the library. Logan so he could study, Patton so he could make new friends and Virgil because it was quiet. It was the ideal spot. 

Virgil hated humans. There was, however, one human Virgil hated more than any other human. And his name was Roman Regiis. He was a theatre kid who liked to strut his stuff. He looked down on those who weren’t as good as him, he always kept in with trends and had an amazing fashion sense (Virgil hated saying it but he couldn’t deny it, Roman was really stylish), he got good grades all round and had friends to last him a lifetime. There was one thing that Virgil had found out that no one else knew about Roman. Roman was gay.  
Virgil didn't think there was anything wrong with being gay, so he couldn't fathom why Roman was so shy about it. It just didn't make sense. But, regardless, Virgil didn't tell anyone. One day, Virgil saw Roman’s phone as he walked by. The lock screen had a picture of Roman and another boy, who was kissing Roman on the cheek. When Virgil confronted him about it, Roman told him he was gay but then proceeded to tell him to keep his dirty mouth shut. From then on, Virgil started seeing signs all over the place that were quite obvious. For starters, Roman has never been seen with a girlfriend at school and only claimed he had one, he had a notebook with a giant rainbow on it that all his minions just thought was ‘trendy’, he never once asked a girl on a date even though they’d all instinctively say yes. Virgil couldn’t believe not even Logan had worked it out. After 2 years, Virgil still hadn’t told a soul. But that wouldn’t last...

{2 lessons prior to his dad being called in}  
“Patton, I still fail to see how you did not achieve optimal results on your assessment. You studied for over the average time one usually does and even attended extra curricular clubs to help ensure your likelihood of passing the test, yet you still proceeded to fail?” Logan enquired after hearing that Patton had flunked his math test.  
“I don’t really know. I guess for some people math doesn’t click but for others it’s a easy as pi!” Patton replied. Logan sighed at Patton’s awful math joke and turned to Virgil.  
“And why are you still not getting better grades in math? I’m even going through the immense trouble of tutoring you both and you repay me with these results?” He queried.  
“Jeez, Lo, who got your panties in a twist?” Virgil retorted.  
“My panties are perfectly fine thank you very much but you’re still ignoring my enquiry into why your grades are below par.” Patton sniggered at how literally Logan took Virgil’s response just as the third period bell rang.  
“Drama!” Cried Patton. He bloody loved drama. Getting to be silly and extra was his favourite part of the day.  
“yay,” Virgil said sarcastically. Drama was one of the five lessons Virgil had with Roman, along with cooking, English, French and music. Having drama third thing on a Monday with his least favourite person in the entire school was not his favourite thing to do. But, Virgil could just get through it by not talking whatsoever. Or so, he thought. Sir walked in and started taking attendance.  
“Virgil?”  
“Yes sir.”  
And that was all Virgil assumed he’d have to say that class. 

After groups had been decided and roles had been assigned, the teacher asked for Virgil to come to his desk.  
“Virgil, your lack of participation is becoming an ever increasing problem. You need to start joining in or I’ll have to issue you a detention, which I really don’t want to because I know you’re a good kid but... just please, get involved,” Mr Green begged.  
“I’ll try,” Virgil mumbled. He could feel Roman’s eyes at him in the back of his neck, his smug face and his laughing minions all staring at Virgil. However, when he turned around, he thought he saw a small ounce of pity in Roman’s expression.  
Virgil wasn’t sure but he knew it was not mean or spiteful. Roman quickly caught on to Virgil reading his face and went back to his usual glare.  
“Well, at least he maybe doesn’t completely hate me,” Virgil thought to himself and spent the rest of class pondering on why Roman looked that way.

As everyone left the room, sir pulled Virgil aside.  
“Virgil, in all my 6 years of working here, I’ve never seen someone as inapt at social activities as you. Do your parents know?” He asked.  
“Yes. They’ve both tried to take me to therapy before but it’s never done anything,” Virgil said quietly.  
“Well, I’ll be talking to the principal and he’ll bring in your parents. I’m also going  
to issue you a detention. I’m sorry but this is how it has to be. Go to Mr Troughton’s office at lunch. I think you might need to discuss some things. Thank you” Mr Green told him. Virgil couldn’t believe what he was processing. After his next lesson, he’d have to go to the principal’s office to talk about his behaviour, then have his parents called in to school to have another discussion and then get a detention tomorrow. How could this have happened? Virgil decided not to tell Patton or Logan about this and said he had a dentist appointment at lunch. 

Period 4 went slowly as can be with his teacher lecturing them on Shakespeare. Virgil couldn’t get the image of Roman’s pitiful face out of his head, though. The look was almost a mix of understanding and sadness. How could Roman possibly understand? He was the most extra person Virgil knew, he couldn’t have anxiety... could he?  
“Virgil!” The teacher snapped. She began clicking her fingers in his face and he suddenly came back down to Earth.  
“I asked you,” she bellowed with a certain degree of fury,” what year Shakespeare was born!”  
“Umm... 1554?” Virgil guessed. He knew he’d been told at some point but just couldn’t quite piece it together.  
“Wrong!” She screamed,” 1564!” And Virgil could hardly believe what he was hearing. Seriously, he was only ten years off and she was still angry?  
“Sorry, Miss...” Virgil murmured. He could see Roman from across the class with his line of vision and saw that same pitiful expression. Could it be that Roman didn’t hate him as much as Virgil thought he did?  
“You’re going to be getting an essay for homework now, thanks to Virgil. Everyone, blame Virgil for the length and difficulty of this essay. 3 and a half pages, minimum. You must explain every aspect of Shakespeare’s life in incredible detail and his legacy after he passed. I expect it on my desk tomorrow morning.” She really was cruel. Everyone shot menacing looks at Virgil. Except for Roman. Everyone looked likes they wanted to murder Virgil. Except for Roman. Everyone looked as though they hated Virgil. Except for Roman. It went without saying that Logan and Patton didn’t blame him either.  
For the next half an hour, the teacher proceeded to ask Virgil, and no one else, every question and if he got it wrong, she’d punish the entire class by adding an extra half a page onto their essay. 

They came out of the lesson with 8 pages to write. 

“She’s awful,” Patton sympathised,” it’s okay, Virgil. It wasn’t your fault, she’s just waaaay outta line.”  
“Indeed. She does seem a little too elated getting to punish students. That seems odd to me,” Logan joined in.  
“Thanks guys but I gotta go. Dentist appointment,” Virgil lied.  
“Oh okay!”  
“Salutations.”

As he made his way up the steps to the principals office, all sorts of scenarios were running through Virgil’s mind. What if he got suspended? Or worse, expelled? What if he was forced to socialise everyday? What if he had to be in detention everyday until he got new friends? Of course, none of these scenarios were very likely to happen but Virgil’s mind told him otherwise.  
When he knocked on the door to the world’s scariest office, a hoarse voice beckoned him inside. The principal was a small and kind man but still very intimidating when he wanted to be. He had small fish ornaments everywhere in his room and even his own fish tank. He often had a plate of biscuits to offer students at his desk and plush chairs for them to sit on. The walls were pained in a turquoise-blue, like the ocean, and all the decor matched. All in all, his office was very ascetically pleasing but still a scary room when the principal got angry.  
“Virgil,” Mr Troughton started,” your participation must be improved. We had your dad in here last week to discuss your mental health and he thought you were getting better. Clearly not. Since then, your joining in had gone from about a sentence to a few words, minimum. That is not okay.  
Your dad shall be here shortly and we’ll discuss matters of your therapy then. As you already know, you’ll be receiving an hour long detention and that will be tomorrow afternoon. Your dad has been notified. Would you like to say anything?”  
“Not-not really,” Virgil stuttered.  
“I see.” So they sat there for about 5 minutes in complete silence before hearing a knock on the door and Virgil’s dad came wandering in.  
“Mr Sanders, I had the feeling I’d be seeing you again soon.”  
“And I you.”  
Virgil stepped outside and the two of them spoke for about half an hour before Virgil was allowed to come back in.  
“Virgil, Mr Troughton and I thought it be best of you went to see Nicole twice a week now, instead of once,” his dad suggested. Nicole was his therapist and probably one of the nicest people he’d ever met. She’d been having weekly appointments with him since he was 10.  
“Why, dad?” Virgil asked.  
“Because your social anxiety is getting worse. It’s okay for you to not enjoy people taut much but you can’t shut them out completely,” he explained,” there’s also something else.”  
“Oh?”  
“There’s a group at your therapy clinic forming for teenagers with social anxiety. I think it’d be beneficial if you went. You’ll be going there this Friday,” his dad said harshly. He was quite intimidating too.  
“Okay, sounds good.” Truth to be told, Virgil was obviously anxious, like he is about everything, but this more so. Sitting in a room with a bunch of other socially awkward teenagers, no one wanting to talk or even make eye contact with one another frankly sounded like his definition of a nightmare. 

Still, he thought, at least the people there will be like me.

And with that, Virgil was excused from the principals office and once again waited outside for his dad. About 15 minutes later, they were done and Virgil was allowed to go home early. The stress of today had made his anxiety go through the roof. Maybe he needed that support group after all. 

On the Friday evening the group started, Virgil was absolutely not ready for what was to come...


	2. Group therapy sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I’ve been quite busy. Don’t expect a regular update schedule as I just try to write whenever I can lol. Als , sorry if this chapter is too short, I had to rewrite it twice as I wasn’t satisfied with the original. I was happy with this rewrite though. Thanks for all the Kudos!

On Friday morning, Virgil awoke to the sound of rain on his window.

Why does rain have to be so bloody loud? Its louder than Thomas snoring!

Thomas was Virgil’s older brother, now in college. The two used to be as close as brothers can get but they hadn’t seen one another in a while.

Virgil only had 10 hours until he would subject himself to sitting in a room with complete random strangers, talking about his feelings. In other words, his worst nightmare. He had to go to school first, though.

“Virgil, you seem to be extra anxious-y today. Wanna tell me what’s up?” Patton queried.  
“I have my group therapy thing later and I’m just being me about it.”  
“It won’t be too bad. It’ll just be a chance to make new friends!” He said cheerfully,  
“I think, what Patton is trying to say is that you see to be over thinking this small dilemma. Whilst social interaction isn’t exactly my forte either, you must stop worrying. Becoming anxious over pointless, meaningless things will only make your problem worse. It is better not to become stressed over the smaller issues,” Logan explained.  
“I think there was like 50 words in that explanation I didn’t understand! You’re smart Logan!” Patton cried.  
Logan adjusted his tie, looking startled.  
“Oh-um, thank you, Patton. Anyways, how’re things at home, Virgil?”  
“The same old crap. Dad yells at me for not doing my jobs properly and not doing what I should at school, I sit in my bedroom, feeling like a piece of crap, the usual stuff...” Virgil answered.  
“I’m not sure how to deal with overly personal and/or emotional situations but hopefully I can provide some amount of support.”  
“Thanks, Logan.” Virgil glanced at Patton and noticed something strange. He wasn’t smiling. Patton was always smiling. Or at least, that’s what Virgil thought. It freaked him out to see Patton like this.  
“You good, Pat?”  
“Huh?” Patton looked up and pasted a grin back on to his face,” Oh, yeah, I’m good. It just makes me upset to hear about all this. I only ever want to hear about you being happy, Virgil, but times like this just... I don’t know but I’m okay now!”  
Virgil and Logan looked at one another, before mutually deciding to let it go.

The afternoon rolled around and, before he knew it, they were leaving school for the weekend.  
“See ya, Virge!” Patton called as Virgil got his key out from his pocket. His parents would still be at work, thank god. He could finally have some peace and quiet.

Only two more hours before I die, Virgil thought, guess I’d better mentally prepare myself.

He decided to take a shower and put on some clean clothes to already make a good impression before completely embarrassing himself. If he looked okay, maybe they wouldn’t think he was too much of a loser.  
“Virgil? I’m home!” His dad called as he got in from work. Virgil was in the middle of towel-drying his jet-black hair when he walked into his room.  
“Virgil, are you okay? You’ve got therapy in an hour,” he commented.  
“I’m just being me, dad. Anxious in every single way possible,” he said nonchalantly.  
“Virge, calm. It will go fine. It always goes fine. You always think it’s going to be worse than it is. The people there are just as socially awkward as you. And, who knows, maybe you’ll even make a friend or two?”  
Virgil thought his dad was being waaaay to optimistic about making a couple friends but, ultimately, he was right. They were just like him and he would have a bit in common with them.  
Maybe, it won’t go awfully, he thought to himself.  
An hour went by much too fast for Virgil’s liking and it was finally time for Virgil to die go to therapy.

His dad took him there but drove off before he could even open the door of the enormous building, leaving Virgil all by himself to face the terror awaiting him.

“Remember to breathe“  
He could hear his brain telling him what to do so clearly.  
Breathe in for 5, hold for 7, breathe out for 8, he told himself. He continued the 5,7,8 pattern all the way to the front desk. Virgil just smiled awkwardly before she noticed him.  
“Ahhh, Virgil, here for the group therapy session?” Lindsey, the receptionist, asked. Lindsey knew Virgil from his usual sessions.  
“Y-yeah.”  
Lindsey handed him a small sheet of pink paper and he started to make his way over to the couch area. Then he tripped and fell flat on his face.  
He didn’t trip because of his shoelaces or anything, he tripped because of who he saw sat right in his usual spot on the sofa. The perfectly styled brown hair, the thoroughly bored look on his face, the red jacket he always wore. Who else could it have been?  
“Are you okay?” Virgil heard the guy ask. Virgil refused to lift his head and let the guy see his face.  
“I’m fine,” He muttered before trying to pick himself up but also hiding his face.  
“Virgil, you know I can see you,” Roman said bluntly.  
“I was honestly hoping you couldn’t.”  
“Yeah, well it’s no use trying to pretend you don’t exist forever. What are you even doing here?”  
“I’m coming for the Friday group sessions. You?” Virgil told him.  
“Unfortunately, me too. Just, don’t try to talk to me.”  
“Why would I?” Virgil retorted as he took a seat.  
About 12 others walked in before Nicole, the woman running the session and Virgil’s regular therapist, brought them into her room.  
“Okay, so I’m Nicole. You’re all here because you’re anxious, insecure and lacking self-confidence, right? Well, the aim of these groups is to try and make you familiar with the people in it but also make you meet new people. I feel this is the most efficient way to do it. You are all, hopefully, going to provide support for the others and help them improve their social skills. This may take a while so I imagine these sessions might go on for a while. Anyone not okay with any of this?” She explained. No one moved. “Good.”

By 7 o’clock, Virgil was glad to be out of there. They mostly introduced themselves, which was... uncomfortable (to say the least). Roman had proceeded to ignore Virgil and Virgil had proceeded to ignore Roman.  
“How was it?” His dad asked as he stepped into their small Ford.  
“Alright. more than enough talking, though,” he answered.  
“Well, you’d better get used to it, son.”  
Patton texted Virgil, asking if he was doing anything that week. Despite the fact Virgil would have liked to say he was free, he told Patton:  
“I’m busy Friday night but I can do any other day this week.”  
Virgil spent the rest of the evening in the living room, watching Disney movies with just his dad and a small box of pizza. But, it wouldn’t stay that lonely for long...

At 9:00, they had a knock on the door.  
“Who is it?” His dad bellowed.  
“You’re first born son!” Came a voice.

Thomas! He’s home! Why though?

Virgil thought as he threw the blanket off himself and ran to the door. Thomas was now a college student and Virgil was still a 9th grader. Thomas was into theatre, Virgil hated it. Thomas was so kind and thoughtful and generous, Virgil rarely ever spoke to anyone. The two were as different as can be... at first glance. The truth is, they both suffered from anxiety, Thomas was just better at hiding it.  
“Thomas! How’s college?” His dad said.  
“Good, good,” Thomas told them as he closed the front door,” how’s school, Virge?”  
“It’s good, I guess. People being the usual bullies,” hey, look, it’s anxiety,” and that stuff. They want me to participate more, or something,” Virgil explained what had happened.  
“Virgil, can give you a piece of advice?” Virgil nodded,” don’t let your anxiety define you. People know you as ‘the kid with anxiety’. You don’t want that. Don’t let your anxiety be who you are, that’s not to say I don’t care about it, but you don’t want people thinking that’s the only thing to you, do you? People had no clue I had anxiety until I told them because I didn’t let it define me. Don’t let them give you a label or call you something that elucidates it. Make them see what more there is to you.”  
Thomas was the best for advice. It always worked, somehow.

Thomas went up to his room to deposit his bags before coming and squishing up to Virgil on the couch. They watched Beauty and the Beast and The Hunchback Of Notre Dame until Thomas decided to talk to Virgil.

Thomas’ room was really inviting. It had posters of Disney films and photos of his family and friends on the pale blue walls. His bed practically ate you when you sat down on it and the carpet felt so soft on your feet.  
“Virgil, can I ask you something? Why do you not participate?” Thomas questioned.  
Virgil’d never really thought about it before.  
“I guess it’s because I’m afraid. I’m afraid I’ll answer wrong, or I’ll embarrass myself, or I’ll say something I shouldn’t and I don’t want that to happen,” Virgil confessed. He’d never told anyone that, not even Nicole or his dad.  
“Maybe, I could come to school with you. If they know how anxious you are, I could just say I’m a support buddy whose going to sit in the corner of the classroom, just observing. Then, you might not be so nervous,” Thomas suggested.  
“Yeah... that might help...”

They returned to their dad sat, flicking through movies, trying to decide what to watch next. Of course, they were all Disney.

I wonder if Roman likes this one, I seem to recall him being a big Disney fan when we were younger, but who knows?

They decided on The Lion King and, not at all Disney, but The Greatest Showman and git half way through the latter before Virgil fell asleep.

His dreams nightmares were full of people talking to him and judging him and Thomas was giving him advice but nothing was working and he kept being laughed at and-  
His mum. She was there too, trying to help.

 

Virgil awoke with a start. What had that been about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to tell you, I’m British but I try to use American terminology to make it better for the majority of you to read. Apologies if some of the words are off. 
> 
> And, again, thanks for all of you reading and enjoying my writing. I hope it doesn’t suck too much.


	3. A strange day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I just kinda disappeared lol.
> 
> Had a busy month or so but I've been drafting this one up for a while now. A lotta personal, not so good stuff happened so it was difficult for me to find time to write. I'll try to get the next one out soon, promise!

His breathing heavy, Virgil ventured downstairs. He kept thinking he’d seen shadows moving and eyes staring, but it was all his imagination. His nightmare had freaked him out after all. Virgil got a glass of water and returned to his dark, dingy room. The walls were covered in Fall out boy and Evanescence posters but, beneath, they were painted in dark purple and the rest of his decor was just plain black. Not exactly the most calming room after a nightmare.

Try to break down the dream. You were talking to people. They were laughing as you kept messing up. Thomas was trying to help you. So was mum. It wasn’t working. I was breaking down. I could’ve dreamt this because of the conversation I had with Thomas. That sounds about right. 

Virgil tried to get back to sleep but he couldn’t even manage to keep his eyes shut. What if he had another nightmare? Virgil wasn’t willing to take that risk so, he sat there, thinking. Today was Saturday, that meant he could do anything he wanted. Maybe he’d go see Patton and Logan, or even go see mom. She wasn’t at home, but, rather, somewhere else. He’d go see her today, Virgil decided. Picking up his phone, Virgil messaged Patton and Logan, asking if they wanted to come over for the afternoon.

“I’m visiting my mom this morning but I can do this afternoon,” he told them.  
“Oh, Okay! How is she?” Patton asked.  
“Good.”

After about 2 hours of scrolling through Instagram, Virgil heard his dad get up and so he went for a shower. Breakfast was fairly lacklustre, just being a slice of toast. He put on his black hoodie with the purple patches on and slipped on his trainers before popping his head into Thomas’ room. He saw Thomas was awake and on his phone.  
“I’m going to see mom. Be back later.”  
And he left.

She was there, in her usual place, on the bench. They met every once in a while at that same bench in the park.  
“Hey, Virgil,” she said softly as she gave him a hug.  
“Hey, mom, long time, no see.”  
They talked about school, home and just things that had happened to them. He told her about therapy and Logan and Patton. She just listened. He told her everything he couldn’t tell anyone else, hoping she’d stay longer. He knew she’d be leaving soon.  
“Virgil, it’s getting cold, go back home,” she pressured after he’d finished telling her about his worries.  
“But I wanna stay here, with you mom. I don’t get to see you anymore,” he told her as a tear rolled down his cheek.  
“Virgil, you can’t. I’m not really here. Go talk to some real people, don’t waste your day here.”  
“What if I want to?”  
“People will think you’re mad, talking to yourself. Virgil, I’m not real. Virgil, listen to me. This is all in your head. Go home to your father and brother.”  
“But... mom...” he whispered as she disappeared again,” Mom! Mom! Come back... please... Why are you leaving again!? I didn’t tell you to go...” he cried. He was drenched in tears now. The flowers in his hand fell to the ground as he felt his knees drop to floor in front of the stone that read:

Molly Sanders  
1972-2017  
Beloved mother and wife

He remembered the moments he’d shared with her and dad. He just missed her more and more every time he imagined her smile. She was really gone.  
“You just left, without any warning. Why?” He mumbled.  
An hour passed, Virgil sobbed. His hands were red from the cold but he didn’t care. 

“Virgil?!” He heard Patton’s voice from behind him. His head whipped around to see the face of his concerned friend, peeking out his car window. “Virgil, what’s up?!” He shouted as he threw open his car door and rushed over to his friend.  
“Patton...” He whispered.  
“Virgil, what’s up?” He asked as he put a hand on Virgil’s back.  
“Patton, I’m sorry. I lied to you. I did come to see my mum but...”  
Patton read the gravestone and sat down next to his friend.  
“Kiddo, why didn’t you tell us? We’d have listened...”  
“I know you would have, I just didn’t want to bother you. I’m sorry for not telling you she was here. Or telling you about it when it happened.”  
“If you don’t mind me asking, when did she...” Patton queried.  
“Two years ago. She was involved in a store robbery that lead to 3 people being stabbed. One of them being her. She had gone out to buy me some medicine as I was ill. It was my fault. If I wasn’t ill, she wouldn’t be here. I did this,” he confessed.  
“Virgil. You did NOT do this! This was NOT your fault, don’t even think about blaming yourself,” Patton said furiously.  
“My dad seemed to think it was my fault. I haven’t been as close to him since because he blames me for it. Eventually, I started to blame myself too.” This was new to Virgil. Aside from his mom, Virgil had never told this to anyone. Not a soul.  
“Virgil... I have no words,” Patton helped Virgil up and, as soon as he was standing, gave him the biggest hug he’d ever given anyone.  
“Pat, thanks,” Virgil whispered as he wiped his eyes.  
“That’s my job as a friend.”  
Patton’s mum called out to the boys,” Virgil, why don’t you jump in here and we’ll take you home?!”  
“That’s okay, I can walk by myself. Thank you though,” he shouted back but he felt Patton grab his arm and start dragging him towards their car.  
“You’re coming,” he demanded.  
“Patton, you know this might look a bit like a kidnapping from further away,” Virgil warned.  
“It’s fine, now just get in. When we get to your house, I’m making you a giant hot chocolate, too.”  
Patton told Virgil they’d just been driving past when he saw a teenage boy sat by a grave alone so they stopped and when Patton realised it was Virgil, he jumped out the car to help.  
“Thank you, Patton.”

Once they arrived at Virgil’s house, he waved goodbye to Patton’s mom and they sat down in his living room.  
“Virgil? Thomas told me you’d gone to visit your mother,” his dad called from the kitchen.  
“Yes I did. She’s doing good. I left her some flowers too,” he told him.  
Virgil could imagine his dad smiling right now.  
“Thank you, Virgil.”

Logan arrived no more than 10 minutes later and they all sat and talked about what had just occurred.  
“What I do not comprehend, is why you ceased to tell us,” Logan put in after the explanation was over.  
“I-I didn’t want to make it seem like a big deal and bother you with it. This stuff happens to plenty kids our age, I didn’t want to make it seem like I was being over-dramatic or something,” he said shyly.  
“Virgil, kiddo, normal kids our age don’t go through this kind of stuff. That’s why we need you to tell us, so we can help you and make you feel better about it,” Patton suggested.  
“I just... didn’t want to bring attention to it, that’s all.”  
Logan decided to talk this time, “I completely understand. Sometimes, talking about unfortunate events can stir up some negative emotions such as sadness. This is not ideal when you are trying to move on.”  
“Yeah, but, Logan, you’ve gotta talk about things or they just stay bottled up inside until, one day, the bottle gets full and explodes and he’s a mess!” Patton argued.  
“Yes, but crying leads to others thinking you’re susceptible to strong outbursts of emotion, therefore, you will be construed as weak in their point of view. Thus, we should avoid emotional topics at all costs.”  
“But that’ll just end with our little friend over here feeling more upset!”  
Paton and Logan arguing carried on for another 10 minutes before Virgil got sick of it.  
“Can you two just, like, stop?!” Virgil shouted over them.  
“Sorry, kiddo, we seem to have gotten a little carried away there,” Patton apologised.  
“It appears our bickering has annoyed you. I am sorry,” Logan joined in.  
“It’s...it’s fine. Just, try to keep it down next time, my head is spinning,” Virgil moaned.

The rest of the afternoon went well, with all 3 of them going to see Into The Spiderverse. It was Virgil’s first time seeing it and thought it was great. Patton had already seen it twice and enjoyed all the parts with the Peter Porker and it was Logan’s first time seeing it too. Of course, being Logan, he figured out the ending halfway through the film but somehow proceeded not to tell anyone. They decided to eat at a restaurant in the middle of the shopping centre. It was a little restaurant, probably just smaller than a classroom, and smelt of cheese. The walls were all painted in dark red and brown and the decor was pretty much all the same, coated with a thick layer of grease.  
“I must say, this is not the most sanitary restaurant we could have chosen,” Logan complained as he swiped a finger across the surface of the table. It came off looking gray and greasy.  
“Hey, it’s cheap and deserted, where else would you want to go?” Virgil responded.  
“Somewhere where they clean the tables every once in a while!”  
“Now, now, kiddos, at least the food is good, right?” Patton interrupted.  
“I suppose it is satisfactory.”

They climbed onto the bus they were taking home when Virgil saw the group of kids who went to their school all bundled around something. There was about 5 of them and Virgil recognised them all immediately. This was Roman’s “gang”.  
“What are they doing here?” Virgil asked as he sat down in his seat at the back of the bus.  
“I do not know, but Roman does not appear to be here,” Logan said helpfully.  
“Phew.”  
They were the loudest gang of teenagers Virgil ever had the absolute displeasure of meeting. The other members of the public sat on the bus looked very agitated too. Virgil wanted to do something about it but he didn’t have the confidence to talk to Roman’s friends, and nor did Patton or Logan.  
The next 20 minutes was just full on screaming and laughing and shouting from the teenagers in the front. Everyone was sick of them and half of the passengers even got off onto a different bus. Virgil, however, couldn’t get off. This was the only bus that lead to his house. Patton had gotten off 3 stops ago to go home and the next one coming up was Logan’s. After that, it would be another 10 stops before he got home.  
The scenery changed the longer they were on the bus. Patton’s house was in the middle of town, amongst all the hussle and bussle of the streets. Logan’s was slightly further out but still in the main part of town. It was directly opposite the library. Virgil was the only one of the three who lived on the very outskirts of the town and away from all the noise. His dad hated all the cars and people and pollution that came from living in the heart of civilisation, which is why they’d always gravitated away from all that. Sure, it was peaceful to live so far away but also, sometimes, lonely.  
As a kid, all Virgil’s friends would go and play out and go to the park but they’d never invite Virgil. He lived so far away that they all forgot about him. Plus, Virgil had no way of getting home, as he wasn’t old enough to go on the bus by himself. His parents had both worked 9-5 and couldn’t take Virgil and his brother places very often. Socialising became more of a chore than a choice. But that was what made Logan and Patton so great. Just because Virgil lived far away, didn’t mean that they forgot about him. In fact, it just meant they made more of an effort to meet up. Instead of just going to the park, when Virgil met up with Logan and Patton, they spent the whole day doing stuff like going to the movies or watching sports they had no idea about. It just made those days that much better.  
Logan waved goodbye and, before long, Virgil was already anxious about being by himself. The rowdy group at the front was already making him uncomfortable as it was.  
And then the last thing he could ever want. Of course, if his friends were there, he’d be there at some point. Of course, it’d just happen to be on the same bus as Virgil. Of course, it had to be when Virgil was by himself. Of course.  
“What’s up, Brad Pitt-iful?” Said Roman.  
“What would you like to know, Sir-sing-a-lot?” Virgil snapped.  
“I merely wanted to know how my best friend was doing,” he said sarcastically.  
Virgil cursed at him and Roman went to sit down with his minions. The bus ride had just got about 30 times more awkward.

2 stops later, Virgil had had enough. The noise was too much for him. But, as he stood up to leave, Roman glanced over his shoulder at Virgil before tapping one of his friends on the shoulder.  
“Dude, keep it down, you’re annoying people,” Roman warned.  
They were very quiet after that. Eerily quiet.

When Virgil’s stop finally rolled around, after what seemed like an eternity, he was glad. He could leave this all on the bus and walk away from it. No more annoying people to irritate him. 

Life can’t be that nice to me, can it though? Virgil thought as he saw Roman hop off the bus after him. Taking his earphones out of his pocket, Virgil rolled his eyes. The first few chords of “Say you will” by Evanescence played when he felt a tug on the cable. He turned around to see Roman had caught up to him.  
“What could you possibly want from me, Princey?” Virgil asked.  
‘Princey’ has been Virgil’s nickname for Roman since they were kids. It all started when they were 6. Whenever the class’d play games at recess, Roman was always the prince who was bold and daring and his friends were always knights and heroes alike. But, for some reason (and I’m sure you can’t imagine why), they always made Virgil the villain. No matter what the situation, even if the game required no villain, that was always Virgil’s role. He was either be defeated and killed because he was a ‘wicked enemy’ or he’d be sat on the sidelines as there was nothing for the villain to do in that game.  
“Well, I’m just walking home, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance!” Roman announced.  
“Why this way though?” Virgil complained,” And, more importantly, why are you talking to me?”  
“Look, Virgil, I’m sorry for my friends’ garish behaviour on the bus. I know it must have made you uncomfortable. I apologise on their behalf,” Roman said, turning serious.  
“That was unusually attentive of you, Princey. Don’t sweat it. Just forget about it,” Virgil shrugged it off.  
“Well, I just... I guess things are happening to me that are making me realise my mistakes. And, actually, whilst we’re on the subject of apologising, I’m sorry for everything Virgil. Everything since we were 6. I’m sorry for being so unnecessarily hateful towards you and etcetera.”  
Virgil was speechless. What was making Roman regret things? Why was he apologising?  
“Who are you and what have you done with Roman Regiis?” Virgil joked. Roman smirked as he walked towards a house with a ornate grey front door.  
“See you Friday evening, Incredible sulk!” Roman waved goodbye. Of course! Next Friday was therapy!

Virgil wasn’t sure what the hell had just happened but he was curious to know more.


	4. Virgil is so sick of school.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little thing in between chapters. Its gonna count as 3.5 but my computer won't let me put 3.5 so I guess its just gonna be 4

Virgil, sat at his desk, cup of coffee in hand, hated his very existence. He was in the middle of his 8 page essay that he’d accidentally made he entire class do. Despite the fact he knew he’d be in even more of a predicament if the essay wasn’t up to his teacher’s ridiculous standards, Virgil couldn’t get the image of Roman apologising for everything out of his head. Had Virgil been wrong about Roman this whole time?

All the insults, all the hate, this weird.. feud they had going on, could it have all just been to hide Princey's insecurities?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my work. From what I wrote before, I know you’re all so sweet so thank you for that. And thank you for making my day by reading my below average writing x
> 
> P.S. my work was hugely inspired by ‘To build a home’ written by ‘AValorousChoice’ so go check that out if you want some actual quality writing.


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